Most gracious God, creator of all good things, we thank you for planet earth and all creatures that share it.

Have mercy on us, Lord. Through ignorance and carelessness we have poisoned clean air and pure water. For monetary gain we have reduced verdant forests to barren wastes. In our craving for more we have plundered your beloved creation and driven many of our fellow creatures to extinction. Only recently have we begun to realize the dangerous future into which our current patterns of consumption and waste are driving us, especially in relation to earth’s climate. Only recently have we begun to see our need to find a wiser and better way of life in the future, before it is too late and our choices are limited by the consequences of inaction.

We who join in prayer today believe the time has come, Lord. Please guide us now, our God, at this critical moment in history, to better fulfill our role as stewards of this fragile planet. Guide the leaders of nations who (will) gather in Copenhagen (on December 6). Give them courage to set noble goals that reach beyond short-range political expediency, short-term economic profit, and short-sighted self-interest. Impress upon their conscience our sacred duty to bequeath to our children and grandchildren a healthy and thriving environment rather than a world in climate crisis.

If our leaders fail, Lord, if they fail to take the necessary action, they will violate both our trust and your calling to use their power for the common good. If they fail, every person will be affected, including generations not yet born. Rouse us all to action for we are all woven together in the fabric of creation.

This is the moment, God, when a great turning of hearts must begin. So through this prayer, we of many traditions who follow Christ — joined by friends and neighbors of many faiths – unite our hearts in a cry for change. Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.

We pray in the name of Christ, through whom you have given yourself to the whole world in incarnation, crucifixion, and resurrection. Amen.

- by Brian McLaren and and Tim Costello (source)

For even more hilarity, you can check out this website. My personal favorite, “Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.”

When you say, “I am a Christian,” what exactly do you mean? I recently discovered this wonderful poem that says it perfectly for me.

When I say, “I am a Christian,”  I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
I’m whispering, “I get lost!  That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian,”  I don’t speak with human pride
I’m confessing that I stumble-needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian,”  I’m not trying to be strong
I’m professing that I’m weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not bragging of success
I’m admitting that I’ve failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian,”  I don’t think I know it all
I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian,”  I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian,”  I do not wish to judge
I have no authority–I only know I’m loved

What a beautiful poem. Thank you, Carol Wimmer, for giving such beautiful expression to the thoughts and feelings of so many, including myself.

Should have seen it coming!

Christian Scripture is full of imagery, metaphors, and analogies that compares the relationship between God and human beings to that between spouses. But I think it’s possible to take it too far.

I knew people who thought like this in middle school, high school, and college. What about you — did you ever know anyone who was dating Jesus?

Tony Jones issued a challenge to his readers over at his blog to stop Christian euphemisms.

A euphemism is a substitution of an agreeable or less offensive expression in place of one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant to the listener, or in the case of Doublespeak, to make it less troublesome for the speaker. The deployment of euphemisms is a central aspect within the public application of political correctness.

It also may be a substitution of a description of something or someone rather than the name, to avoid revealing secret, holy, or sacred names to the uninitiated, or to obscure the identity of the subject of a conversation from potential eavesdroppers. Some euphemisms are intended to amuse.

Jones thinks that we Christians rely on euphemisms more than other people in our society, and I tend to agree, and I offered this euphemism in response to his challenge:

“I’ll be praying for you…”

1) (If said to another Christian) Sounds like a tough situation, but since I don’t want to really help, I’ll offer some hollow words of comfort.

2) (If said to a non-Christian) I don’t really understand you or why you think what you think or believe what you believe, and since I don’t really want to bother trying, I’ll offer some hollow words of patronization.

What about you? Have you heard any Christianese euphemisms that you want to share?

“The meek shall inherit the earth if we can repeal the federal estate tax. Seriously. 45 percent for estates over 3.5 million? Spareth me.”

Update: Video isn’t embedding properly, *dead link*

Update 2: Seems the above link isn’t working either … try this one.

I still haven’t figured out of Conservapedia is authentic or satire, and to be honest, I kind of like it that way. Believing that it could be satire helps keep my hope in Christianity alive. One of the key pieces of Conservapedia is the Conservative Bible Project, and the primary goal is to produce a translation of the Bible that is free from “liberal bias” (among other equally ridiculous goals).

The goal of this post isn’t to ridicule this project, although I might do that someday; instead, the goal is to once again direct your attention to a comment on Twitter (if you’re not on Twitter – you know who you are! – you should be ).  After all, Stephen Colbert is.

He tweeted this little gem yesterday:

hopefully the conservative bible will have more instances of jesus performing the miracle of tax cuts

And Conservapedia said, “Amen.”